Questing for my self

For eight weeks of October and November, my life was a happy mess of cleaning and organizing gear for a renaissance festival, driving thru new areas of the US and exploring, working the show, driving home to launder and shower, and repeating the cycle each week.

Now that is over, and I’m a little bit at a loss for what to do. I have three types of at-home work. I get offers for work on LinkedIn – but none so close to my home that they are tempting. I could do anything. But I have trouble putting myself first and figuring out what my purpose and art are. I write, I sew, I watch movies and read, I poke around on FaceBook, but I’m not making time to complete my art.

So here goes with two more posts towards the Tracking Wonder Quest 2017.

Susan Piver asks: Do you love yourself enough to stop working on yourself yet? Who would you be in that case?” #loveyourself

Kristen Noel asks: Where are you going to go deeper this year, where can you be brave enough to bring forth even more of yourself — to infuse your work, creativity and business with that which is uniquely YOU, thus inspiring others to do more of the same? What could that look like in 2017 for you? #BringYouForward

The first one is a stumper. I guess I love myself so well I’m not consciously working on myself. I am not a project, I an mot in progress. I watch what I eat, I’m about to stand up and do a little bit of weight training…there, 10 bicep curls, 10 tricep thingies, 10 squats with 5# weights in each hand. I break up computer time with exercise throughout the day instead of a half hour of concentrated work. Working on my “self” is much the same story. I’m medium-good on the whole self-esteem thing too – not too much baggage or unresolved issues, I recognize where things happen again and again, and I end the loops and resolve the karma where possible. But I can’t stop because I never started seeing myself as something to work on. I am someone who balances the entropy of falling apart and the work required to put herself back together every single day.

Where am I going deeper this year? What is uniquely me? That’s a good question. All I can really say is “stay tuned.” I have the pieces in motion, and I’m not 100% sure where it is all going.